CFHL Week 7 2022-2023

 The top two teams in the league still are the Cherry Brothers.  Checkers have 59 points and the Goon Crew have 53.  Not far behind and leading the Smythe Division is Who Gives a Puck with 52 points.  

Here is what happened on the ice last week...

Who Gives a Puck     3

Goon Crew                3

These two top teams skated to a tie last week.  Goon Crew's net minders were hot.  Georgiev and Vanecek both had 2 wins each and combined for a SV% of .951.  Puck hammered the Goon Crew on the boards with 50 hits.  Tkachuck had 15 and Zucker had 14.

Georgiev of the Goon Crew

Assassins         4

Space Monkey 2

The Assassins get on the winning side taking down the Space Monkey Mafia.  They were led by Nathan MacKinnon who had 2 goals, 6 assists, 4 PPP and 2 hits.  Space Monkey Stamkos had 5 goals in the loss.

MacKinnon of the Assassins had a big week!

Checkers        4

Slapshots       0

Ties                2

After going toe to toe with the Goon Crew last week 2-2-2, the Checkers get the win against the Slapshots who finally figured out how to change their lineup.  Maybe that was a bad thing...Crosby had 5 assists for the  Checkers while the strength of this team continues to be their physicality.  They hit the Slapshots 60 times!

Crosby had 5 helpers for the Checkers

Greek Empire       1

Krampus Carols    5

Krampus  surprised the Empire with an almost sweep of all the categories.  They were led by Sam Reinhart Who had 2 goals, 5 assists, 4 PPP and 4 hits.  Plus they got 13 hits from DeBrincat in the victory.

DeBrincat a happy cat for the Krampus

White Mambas        1

Raisins                    5

The White Mambas are going to need some help for their Devil Trio if they want to start winning consistently.  Or maybe just make some lineup changes from time to time...Just saying.  California Raisins were led by Kevin Hayes' 5 goals.

Hayes celebrates his first hattrick

3 Stars of the Week

1. Kevin Hayes, F, Raisins - 5 goals, 1 assist, 3 PPP and 2 hits

2. Linus Ullmark, G, Checkers - 2 Wins and .977 SV%

3. Sam Reinhart, F, Krampus - 2 goals, 5 assists, 4 PPP and 4 hits

Goons of the Week

Martin Fehervary and Luke Schenn of the Checkers - both had 18 hits

CFFL FB XXXVIII

 FANTASY BOWL XXXVIII

Monterey Bay Whales 39  Cabucki Crush 23

Well we finally have crowned a winner of Fantasy Bowl XXXVIII in one of the most bizarre and longest Fantasy Bowls to date.

The game started way back in 2022 on December 29th.  The Whales took an early 6-0 lead with an Elliott TD run.  He has been a stud the second half of the year for the Whales scoring 7 straight weeks!  After a Tyreek Hill score making it 12-0 the Whales were on the drive again to score another TD and really pull away.  However Mahomes would get picked off in the red zone by the Crush.  On the next play Crush RB Etienne would take the handoff and run 60 yards to pay dirt!  Suddenly the Crush were right back in it with the score 12-6.

Etienne breaks free for a 60 yard Crush TD!

Mahomes however would not be denied again as he would score 12 points and make the halftime score 27-6.

Mahomes puts Whales up 27-6 at half

The Crush would come out of halftime ready for a comeback.  They had Cousins and Jefferson for Christ sake!  Well Cousins would only throw 1 TD and not to Jefferson.  Thank goodness for Tucker who had at least 7 points. This put the Crush in striking distance only down 10.  They still had Ja'Marr Chase and James Cook Monday night.  The Whales only had the Bills D/ST.

Well we all know what happened that fateful night Monday and the game would be canceled.  Commissioner Rick Cherry decided to extend the game to allow the players that were to play Monday night have their stats count in Week 18.  So the Crush still had a chance!  Their chances would quickly be squashed by the Whales as they returned the opening kickoff for a TD and then had a second kick returned for TD making the final score 39-23!

Whales would score 2 kickoff returns!!

The Whales would be the Fantasy Bowl Champion of the CFFL in only their 3rd year!

Whales owner Brandon Cherry celebrates the victory

Mahomes raises the Cherry Trophy 

CFFL MEMORIAL CUP

The season concluded with the 2nd Annual Memorial Cup where all teams compete for a free entry next year and to get their division on the Memorial Cup created to honor the 4 past franchise owners that have gone before us.  It was just a Whale of a year...

Memorial Cup Standings:

1. Wild Wild West - 104

2. Great White North - 98

3. Eastern Bloc - 95

4. Sad Sack South - 66

Congratulation to the West and congratulations again to the Whales who had the most points with 41!

2022 MVP - Patrick Mahomes, QB, Whales - 192 points

2022 ALL CFFL TEAM

QB - Patrick Mahomes, Whales - 192

RB - Austin Ekeler, Crew - 108

RB - Jamaal Williams, Cocktails - 104

WR - Davante Adams, Titans - 84

TE - Travis Kelce, Whales - 74 (side note: he didn't score since Week 12)

WR - A.J. Brown, Juggernauts - 66

K - Jason Myers, Cocktails - 143

D/ST - Patriots, Legion - 54

2022 All CFFL NICKNAME TEAM

QB - Kenny "Baby Hands" Pickett, Titans

RB - Nick "Chubb, chubb, chubb" Chubb, Animals

RB - Isiah "Peak at my butthole" Pacheco, Sinistars

WR - D.J. "T.C." Moore "Bookkeeping", Krauts

WR - Amon-Ra "Flying" St. Brown, Krauts

WR - Drake "Joker Face" London, Juggernauts

K - Greg "Roy" Joseph, Krauts

"Peak at my butthole...peak at my butthole"

That concludes the 38th season of the CFFL.  The 40th anniversary season is only about a year and half away!  The plan for the 40th draft is to have it in Fabulous Las Vegas!  Planning for this will begin shortly so stay tuned for more information.  See you all in August! 

CFHL Week 5 2022-2023

 Here is Week 5's action in the CFHL on the ice...

Slapshots             0

Goon Crew         5

Ties                     1

Hat trick bonanza in this game!  Tage Thompson and Kyle Connor both had hat tricks for the Slapshots.  David Pastrnak had one on Sunday to put the game away for the Goon Crew.  He would finish the week with 7 goals!

Pasta nets a hat trick Sunday for the Crew!

Raisins                5

Krampus             0

Ties                     1

Raisins almost swept all the categories versus the Krampus this week.  They had 21 assists including 6 from Mitch Marner and 4 others had 3 each!  Krampus would only score 2 goals all week.  Pathetic...

Marner for the Raisins had 6 helpers!

Checkers             4

Assassins            2

Checkers continue to lead the Cherry Division and pound their opponents on the boards.  They had 85 hits!  Ovechkin had 17 hits which is amazing for a goal scorer!  Fehevary had 16 hits and Schenn only 14...only.

The big Russian for the Checkers!

Greek Empire     3

Space Monkey    1

Tie                       2

Greek Empire were able to sneak away with the victory thanks to some excellent goal tending from Juuse Saros who had 2 wins and .936 SV%.  Matthew Tkachuk had 3 goals, 3 assists and 2 PPP for the Empire as well.

Saros making big save for the Greek Empire

Mambas             3

Puck                  3

Mambas and Who Gives a Puck skated to a 3-3 tie.  The Devils were huge again for the Mambas scoring 8 goals again form the Hischier, Hughes, Bratt trio.

Hughes and Hischier for the Mambas

  

3 Stars of the Week

1. David Pastrnak, F, Goon Crew - 7goals, 1 assist, 2 PPP and 6 hits

2. Jack Hughes, C, Mambas - 5 goals, 2 assists, 2 PPP and 2 hits

3. John Tavares, C, Goon Crew - 4 goals, 2 assists, 2 PPP and 7 hits

Goon of the Week:  Alex Ovechkin, F, Checkers - 17 hits

No article next week...I will be in SWFL.

CFHL Week 4 2022-2023

 

Week 4 in the books...

Krampus             3

Goon Crew         2

Ties                     1

Krampus were ale to break the tie on Sunday with a PPP from Sebastian Aho (A-hole).  Barkov and DeBrincat combined for 6 goals as well for the Krampus.

Aho A-hole...

Assassins             1

Slapshots             2

Ties                      3

Lots of ties in this game, in goals, PPP, and goalie wins.  The Slapshots were able to edge the Assassins in SV% .948 to .926 thanks to Vasilevskiy's 3 win .951 week.

Slapshot star goalie Vasilevskiy

Space Monkey Mafia    2

Raisins                           4

Raisins finally put it together this week beating the Space Monkey Mafia.  It certainly wasn't because of goals as the Raisins only scored 4 goals all week.  It was however due to good play between the pipes.  Hellebuyck and Sorokin combined for 4 wins and .930 SV%

Hellebuyck of the Raisins

White Mambas         2

Checkers                  3

Ties                          1

The Checkers survived the White Mambas' onlsaught of Devil players.  Hischier, Hughes and Bratt combined for 8 goals!  Karlsson would get 2 assist on Sunday to break the tie and give the Checkers the win.

Don't mess with the Mamba's Devils!

Who Gives a Puck         4

Greek Empire                1

Ties                                 1

Puck came away with a decisive win behind 3 goals from Zibanejad and a great week from Cale Makar, 2goals, 3 assists, 1 PPP and 5 hits.  They also pounded the Empire on the boards with 53 hits!

Makar of the Puck, one of the best D-men in the league

3 Stars of the Week

Look at the mustache on this sweet bastard

1. Filip Forsberg, F, Mafia, 5goals,  2 assists,  2PPP and 5 hits

2. Andrei Vasilevskiy, G, Slapshots,  3 wins, .951 SV%

3. Alexsander Barkov, C, Krampus, 3goals, 2 assists, 3 PPP and 3 hits

Goon of the Week:  Brady Tkachuk, F, Puck - 17 hits