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| Cheerleaders have come a long way since 1985.. |
The very first draft, in 1985, was held at the founder's (Rick and Roy Cherry) parents' house around the kitchen counter. And it was on the Sunday morning of the first week of the season. Back then there were no Thursday Night games. We had only 6 actual franchises so we had to create two dummy teams with the players that were left, the Columbus Scrubs and the Toledo Scumbags. The Toledo Scumbags would actually make it to the first Fantasy Bowl! They would lose to the Crickets in Fantasy Bowl I. Thankfully we no longer needed to create dummy teams, but we have had our share of "dummy" teams in the league over time (i.e. the Jackals).
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| Chislers accept their 6th trophy as Randy of the Crush looks on via FT |
The 35th draft of the CFFL didn't disappoint in drama. Held at the Commissioner's Bunker, with all 10 TVs going, giant draft board, and 14 people crammed in every corner we could find. This was a far cry from 6 dudes around my parents counter on a hot September day with no air conditioning. The draft would witness Lamar Miller tearing his ACL. Thankfully no team had drafted him yet. But the night was not over...
As the night progressed and lineups began to fill up, in the day of smart phones, many phones began to vibrate and go off with an update. First from Fantasy Football sources...then from credible ESPN sources. The message: Andrew Luck has decided to retire. Wait what??
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| ugh... |
The Crew, who kept Marlon Mack, RB from the Colts, was working on assembling a Colt version of the Cocktails or Chislers. He drafted Andrew Luck in the second round then Eric Ebron in the third. The news came too late. Much too late. Even when the news came the Crew would have to wait almost 2 rounds before he could pick again to find a back up QB. Surviving the 7th round the Crew just needed the 8th round to get to them. What happened was truly unprecedented. There was an actual back up QB run! EIGHT QBs went off the board before the Crew could finally pick their QB. Thank you Killers, Roulette and Sinistars for not taking a QB during that run...
Some might say that my news letters tend to focus more on my team or the North. But truly this was the story of the draft! But wait there is more.
The Cocktails, who had traded their 4th round and 5th round picks away last year decided he would go home after his 3rd round pick and pick from home. Wait what? Another unprecedented draft day move. After he left the league has put him on the "Watch List" to look for any further actions unbecoming of a CFFL owner...
All the fun would become secondary as Draft Day Weekend would ultimately become tragically sad as you will read at the end of this issue...
Well with all the draft day shenanigans put aside it's time for the annual CFFL Preview and the most inaccurate Fantasy Bowl predictions.
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| Goff dating a swimsuit model? Wait, what? |
Cherry's Chislers
Top Player: Jared Goff
Big 3: Goff, Cook, Kupp
10 point connections: Goff to Kupp, Woods, Reynolds - Grade A
Defending Champions once again, the Chislers take their Ram recipe into 2019 to see if they can repeat. Or as the Chisler Owner said on draft day, "I already won last year, I'm just going to have fun this year". Must me nice.
Well with Goff back and his receivers of Kupp, Woods and Reynolds back, there certainly will be many chances for 10 point connections. The rest of the CFFL only hope is that Goff passes a lot to Gurley and Brandin Cooks. They also added a couple of rising stars in James Washington from Pittsburgh and Mecole Hardman from KC. Throw in a counter, Kyle Rudolph and you have a formidable passing attack.
The Chislers top pick was Dalvin Cook, and so far he has looked good. If he can stay healthy all year its going to be a very good year, think at least 13 TDs. Jordan "Curly Joe" Howard will likely get a few starts. It is yet to be seen if he will have much impact.
Greg "The Leg" Zuerlein is back as well. And if healthy all year will make those 10 point connections into 11.
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| Hopkins hopes the Animals have a leg up in the North |
Alex's Animals
Top Player: DeAndre Hopkins
Big Three: Hopkins, Ryan, Chubb
10 point connections: Ryan to Ridley - Grade B
Animals have came into their own over the past several years. A typical draft day mess has become a well calculated machine. And this year was no different.
An impressive line up that includes Matt Ryan, that had a great season last year, and they hook him up with Calvin Ridley. Hopkins is always a threat to score double digit TDs and this year should be no different. After that he has some potential talent at the third spot. Robby Anderson, Zay Jones, Tre'Quan Smith and late round addtiona Marquez Valdes-Scantling, who is projecting to be the number 2 guy for Aaron Rodgers.
It will be the Nick Chubb show for the Animals in the backfield. At least those that visit the Bunker every Sunday won't be hearing Chisler owner chanting "Chubb, chubb, chubb chubb". The question will be how his production drops off when Kareem Hunt returns to action. For insurance they grabbed Latavius Murray who might get the goal line carries in New Orleans. But you know those damn Saints do weird things on the goal line with that Taysom Hill guy.
Fez's Ferrets
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| Elliott saying, "they going to sign me or what??" |
Top Player: Ezekiel Elliott
Big Three: Elliott, Cousins, Allen
10 point connection: None
Has the pressure year after year to get their first title after being in the league from the very beginning starting to get to the Ferret Owner? This might be the last year he makes decisions on the draft as a strange arrangement has been made with him and his son and GM of the Ferrets, James.
The Ferrets hope to get something done with Elliott's contract soon so that they can have him there for Week 1. But if not they have Damien Williams, who may become the next Hunt for KC. He was spotted scurrying for a long TD run in the preseason and with that high powered Chief offense, he will likely get a lot of opportunities.
WRs however seem to be a weak point. Keenan Allen is the best of the group. The past two years he has only scored 6 TDs each year. T.Y. Hilton would have been a good number 2 to Allen, but with Luck's retirement he will likely not get as many chances. A couple of TEs are average at best. Greg Olsen "Twins" and Vance "Finance" McDonald. And then a player that he bitched about, Emmanuel Sanders is back. Can Flaco get it done in Denver and give him some TD production?
R.C. Wrecking Crew
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| McCaffrey dating a swimsuit model as well. Nice! |
Top Player: Christian McCaffrey
Big Three: McCaffrey, Mack, Ebron
10 point connection: Garoppolo to Samuel - Grade C-, or Brissett to Ebron or Mack - Grade C-
Well you know the story about how the team got assembled so let's just dive right into what it looks like.
Will it be Garoppolo or Brissett? They hope that Garoppolo will be the QB he was in his first 3 games before his injury last year where he threw for 5 TDs in those three games. Brissett is a back up for a reason. Ebron, who was supposed to be Lucks 10 point connection is now Brissett. There wasn't an expectation he would score the same amount as last year but now it is significantly lower. Late round pick Deebo Samuel, a rookie, has showed some signs that could be a good WR for 49ers. Godwin, Sanu (throw it to Sanu!) and Higgins "Zeus and Appolo" round out the wide outs. Time will tell. All have potential.
It will be the M-squared backfield to start the season with Marlon Mack and McCaffrey. Projections have both of them eclipsing the 10+ TD mark. The Crew will need it. In week 9 Hunt returns and could provide a boost if Mack struggles with defenses stacking the box as the Colts begin their Post-Luck era.
Division Winner: Chislers
Playoff teams: Animals
Outside looking in: Ferrets and Crew
SOUTH
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| Watson flashing some Motown gang signs |
Michigan Mayhem
Top Player: Deshaun Watson
Big Three: Watson, Henry, Edelman
10 Point connection: Watson to Fuller - Grade B+
The Mayhem were not in attendance for the draft for the first time in quite some time. His absence might have had something to do with his drafting strategy...
Deshaun Watson will be leading the Mayhem this year and is one of the top QBs in the league (if he stays healthy) The Texans O-line is one of the worst in the league so Watson may have to use those legs a lot more, and could lead to more hits. They hope he will be getting enough time to heave it to Fuller who specializes in the long ball, but unfortunately also specializes in getting hurt. Edelman should be solid in the slot per usual. Looks like Larry Fitzgerald final year in his storied career will be in the maize and blue of the Mayhem. Over his career he has scored 116 TDs, including 5 seasons of 10 or more TDs. Truly will be a future CFFL Hall of Famer.
The Mayhem could definitely go with a 2 back attack with Derrick Henry and Sony Michel. Henry is coming off a 12 TD season. Michel is projected to get a lot of touches, but you never know about those Patriot RBs. Added insurance on Henry was Dion Lewis.
I don't mention too many kickers but Stephen Gostkowski is worth a mention as he is a consistent prolific scorer. Expect more of the same from the Polish Leg.
Killer Bees
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| Rodgers saying all is good with his injury |
Top Player: Aaron Rodgers
Big Three: Rodgers, Brown, Fournette
10 point connections: None
Bees will be returning Aaron Rodgers and hope he has a full season free of injuries. If he does you know that he will be at the top of the league in scoring for QBs.
The rest of the passing game should be interesting. They did take Antonio Brown, who dropped only to the 13th pick in the first round. He has been a basket case all preseason, with frost bit feet and constant helmet issues. Plus he is playing for the dumpster fire that is known as the Raiders. The rest of the wide outs are unproven scorers. Marvin Jones from Detroit, Pettis of the 49ers will most likely get the starts along side of Brown. Hockenson will be an interesting player to watch this year.
Running the rock will be Fournette and if he stays healthy, and that's a big if, could score a bunch. And if David Montgomery plays up to expectations as a rookie, the Bees could have a nice one-two punch in the backfield. And with Peyton Barber, the potential starter for the Bucs, they may have lots of options in the running game.
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| Rivers is always yelling about something |
Top Player: Philip Rivers
Big Three: Rivers, Williams, Jones
10 point connection: Rivers to Williams - Grade B+
Philip Rivers returns to the Dragons and plans on leading them to the playoffs in 2019. He was very influential in getting his San Diego teammate Mike Williams into Dragon camp. They have some significant TD chemistry and hooked up for 11 of them last year. He is a TD machine and should produce a significant number of 10 point connections. Who is not really a TD machine is Julio Jones. I mean he had 8 TDs last year and we will say he never catches TDs. Well 8 is fine by me and the Dragons will be very happy if he repeats that production. Alshon Jeffery is another battled tested WR that can score in bunches, but has been slowed by injuries of the past few years.
In the backfield could be Cohen from the Bears. He's fast and is not going to pound it in there but certainly can score some exciting TDs. Mark Ingram is now a Raven and should produce there as well. And then there is the Dolphin Ballage. (Dragons have to have a Dolphin). He will likely carry the load for the Dolphins with Drake nursing an injury. Some choices there and will have to see how the season plays out.
Snagging Will Lutz was a good move and should provide a consistent number of points each week.
Toledo Titans
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| Titans hope JuJu and Big Ben bring lots of points |
Top Player: Ben Roethlisberger
Big Three: Roethlisberger, Smith-Schuster, Freeman
10 point connection: Big Ben to Aunt JuJu and Diontae Johnson - Grade: A-
Looking at the Titans team, it seems like this whole "orange shorts" at draft thing is starting to work. Despite the usual ribbing, the Titans appear to have a solid team once again.
Ben Roethlisberger had a great year in 2018 and sure looks like he is ready to have an even better year in 2019 as they have gotten rid of some old baggage (AB). Plus they have some young up and coming WRs that should make some noise.
JuJu now becomes the Number 1 guy there at the wide out slot and is ready to truly have a break out season. If so, that's a lot of 10 point connections. Joining him will be Amari Cooper who, with a full season as a Cowboy, will likely hit 10+ TDs this year. I like his TEs too. David Njoku could have a big year in Cleveland and Austin Hooper is always good for a few games a year. Now I don't like a Giant and a Bengal. Golden "Taint" Tate and Tyler Boyd.
The running game could be real good. With the injury to Lamar Miller, Duke Johnson now becomes the top back in Houston. As mentioned earlier, their O-Line is something to be desired but he should get his chances. Devonta Freeman, a former number one fantasy back is coming off an injury that saw him miss nearly the entire year last year. He has the potential to be a 12-15 TD back and playing in Atlanta with that offense it could happen.
Division Winner: Toledo Titans (can't believe I'm typing that)
Playoff Teams: Killer Bees
On the Bubble: Dragons and Mayhem
EAST
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| Mahomes was disappointed in last years end.. |
Mother Russia
Molotov Cocktails
Top Player: Patrick Mahomes
Big Three: Mahomes, Hill, Carson
10 point connection: Mahomes to Hill - Grade: A
The Cocktails always do things a little different. Never the norm. This year, as noted above, decided to leave the draft after their 3rd pick. Then they would only have one WR until round 6 where they took AJ Green who will miss games to start the season, thus really only still having 1 WR until round 10 where they selected Moncrief.
But with that said, they will take the field with one of the most dangerous 10 point connections in Mahomes and Hill. They were not able to assemble the same squad of Chiefs as they did last year but that duo will do some damage. Will Mahomes pass for 50 TDs again? I doubt it, but still will be north of 40 and likely the best in the league. When AJ Green comes back he should make a big difference...well wait....the Bengals? Dalton? Shitshow? Yeah maybe not. But Moncrief I like in Pittsburgh.
Will the high flying Cocktails lean on a running attack? Well their number one back will be Chris Carson, the darling of Fantasy Football writers across the country. So many people are high on him and the thought is that he will be the work horse in Seattle. Then you have to wonder how bad will the Raiders be? Josh Jacobs "Jingleheimer Schmidt" a rookie from 'Bama is expected to carry the load in Oakland. He has the talent but can he produce in the dumpster fire known as the Raiders?
Russian Roulette
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| DJ the feature back in Moscow |
Top Player: David Johnson
Big Three: Johnson, Beckham, Aaron Jones
10 point connection: None
Over in Moscow, The Roulette are petitioning the league for a three back attack approach to be allowed. The Roulette are stacked at RB. David Johnson is one of the best at the position. Aaron Jones looks to be the main man in GB. Oh and Phillip Lindsay returns to the Kremlin. All of those backs are 10+ TD producers. So the question is what will the Roulette do here? Sounds like some trade bait to me. Not to mention they have Penny (handcuff for Carson) and Samuels (handcuff for Conners).
The WRs are not quite as formidable but are no slouches either. Of course there is OBJ, who is now a Brown and should be exciting to watch in Cleveland. Brandin Cooks will get a lot of looks as well and then you also have Zach Ertz, one of the best TEs in the business.
Will it be Sad Cam or Happy Cam for the Roulette? Preseason has been rough for Newton. After his one and only game he played in he ended up in a boot. Reports are positive that he should be okay for Week 1, but will he stay healthy throughout the year? You don't want to rely on the "Pink Water Pistol" (Dalton) to lead your team...
Eastern Europe
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| Adams trying his best to goosestep |
Kretz Krauts
Top Player: Davante Adams
Big Three: Adams, Mixon, Gordon
10 point connection: Trubisky to Allen Robinson and Burton - Grade C+
I feel that the Krauts had an uncharacteristic mediocre draft. Was he thrown off when he didn't get Cousins?
Well it's "Bitch" Trubisky's team, at least for the moment. Never know when the "Chinless fuck" Foles might get in. Trubisky is nice in the fact he can score some TDs on the ground. He won't exactly light it up in the air.
Who will they be throwing to? Well the top WR in the league Davante Adams is a good start. He scored 13 TDs last year. Oh and 10 and 12 the previous seasons. Its safe to say that he will be a shoe in for another 10+ TD season. Stefon "Dig Dug" Diggs will likely be the 2nd WR. Reports are the Vikings are looking to focus more on the run and less pass so his production may take a dip. Two Bears give them some possible 10 point connections with Trey Burton and little known DaeSean Hamilton.
The Krauts only have 3 RBs on the roster currently. Mixon and White likely will both start. Amazingly White had 12 TDs last year (and yet I bitched about him all season last year). Mixon had 9 and could be close to 10 this year, but then again he is a Bengal. Speaking of Bengals, what was with the Krauts drafting 2 other Bengals? (Eifert "I can never stay healthy" and John "I wish I had a different QB" Ross) And I almost forgot they did draft Melvin Gordon a 13 TD back who is still holding out. Watch for him in Week 4 to come out and light it up.
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| That Barkley can fly! |
Top Player: Saquon Barkley
Big Three: Barkley, Wentz, DeSean Jackson?
10 point connection: Wentz to Jackson - Grade: B-
Let's start with Barkley. Despite the Giants on a definite downward trend right now, he is the lone bright spot. He had 15 TDs last year and I would imagine he will have similar this year. He is truly one of the top talents in the CFFL. I mean the Giants really have no other place to go.
Wentz. Can that ginger stay healthy for fuck sake? If he can, will he be able to toss more than 30 TDs? The Juggs are counting on it and hoping a lot of those go to DeSean Jackson. Back with the Eagles he can take the top off a defense. Or at least he used to. Can he still do it? Even in a year that he caught 100 passes (2016) he scored only 4 times. But the Juggs have a secret weapon hiding somewhere in Rome...Josh Gordon. Reinstated and back with the Patriots. If this cat can stay off the drugs I think he could post Randy Moss type numbers.
There is a good chance Barkely will have a running mate in Kerryon Johnson. This Lion RB should be the main back in the motor city and post somewhere close to 8 TDs this year.
Again, Kickers I don't mention a lot but the Juggs took two guys that haven't kicked in the NFL yet. Bertolet of the Jets and Pineiro of the Bears. Will either one actually be kicking come Week 1? Hell if I know but Vinatieri and Tucker all started out that way at one point...
Division winner: Kretz Krauts
Playoff Teams: Roulette
On the bubble: Juggs and Cocktails
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| "The entrance is NARROW" |
Cam's Killers
Top Player: Drew Brees
Big Three: Brees, Bell, Lockett
10 point connection: Brees to Cook - Grade: C+
After coming off their Cinderella first season where they made it all the way to the Fantasy Bowl, they promptly followed that up with a 2 win season last year. Ouch. And to be honest his team last year looked better on paper than the one he took to the Fantasy Bowl.
Brees is back again as a Killer and hopes to right the ship after last year. While he is getting up in age he sure doesn't show signs of slowing down. The Killers hope he finds Jared Cook a lot in the red zone for those 10 point connections. Cook really hasn't played for a QB of this caliber yet. I anticipate this will be a nice combination. They also grabbed George K.I. "T.T. Boy" L.E. Kittle that should be able to score often. Tyler Lockett will likely be the top wide out here as he scored over 10 times last year. Expect more of that to come.
The Killer's take the field with the oldest group of RBs in the league, or at least the most experience. "Labia" Bell anchors this unit and sat out all last year. Will he re-emerge as the back he once was in Pittsburgh? Killers hope so. Then there is the old man Adrian Peterson. And not too far behind him is Giovani Bernard. I wouldn't expect too much playing time from either one of these to old farts.
Cabucki's Crush
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| Thomas saying Crush are strong! |
Top Player: Michael Thomas
Big Three: Thomas, Brady, Kelce
10 point connection: Brady to Dorsett - Grade: C+
The Crush from their normal position on the face time tablet, made their selections and heckled others that he saw fit to heckle. While doing so did assemble possibly the best passing attack in the league.
Tom Brady is back in the Crush camp. He was acquired in a trade last year and then was lucky enough to get drafted back to the Crush. He will have teammate Phillip Dorsett to connect for 10 points with. However his top targets will be Michael Thomas, a perennial top wide out and huge counter to the Killers, Travis Kelce, and Mike Evans. All of them could post 10 or more TDs each. Adding another counter in Ted Ginn, plus speedster Tyrell Williams and this teams is deep at the WR/TE position.
Well they need to be because the running game is weak. Austin Ekeler is a nice pick, seems smart. But his potential is limited once they sign Melvin Gordon, which they eventually will. Ito Smith is waiting for Freeman to get hurt. Derrius Guice is the guy I think will carry the load. He is a powerful back who's season last year was cut short by injury. Playing for the Redskins doesn't help matters however.
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| Kamara hopes he tip toes his way to a Fantasy Bowl |
Top Player: Alvin Kamara
Big Three: Kamara, Mayfield, Thielen
10 point connection: Mayfield to Callaway and Landry - Grade: B
As was predicted by the mock draft the Bums selected Baker Mayfield in the first round. They followed that up by grabbing Adam Thielen. Both players were high on Bums' GM Spencer's draft board. With Alvin Kamara in the backfield they focused on the passing game as they only drafted one other RB, Jerick McKinnon, who is now out.
So let's talk about the wide outs. With Mayfield there he has 2 very good potentials for 10 point connections in Callaway and Landry. Callaway has to serve a suspension but once back, it will be the Landry and Callaway show. Thielen is right up there at the top of WRs in the league. And despite talks about the Vikings slowing their passing game down, Thielen should post great numbers once again. Sprinkle in a little Watkins and Dede Westbrook and it is a loaded group.
The future of the Bums will certainly be on the shoulders of Baker Mayfield. He may have some questionable leadership qualities, but damn he makes things exciting. The Browns have surrounded him with talent and if he fails and the Bums fail it will be all on him.
Stamm's Sinistars
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| Sinistars hope Gurley's knee holds up |
Big Three: Gurley, Wilson, Conner
10 point connection: none
Sinistars this year will be a ground and pound team. Keeping James Conner from last year, who scored 13 TDs, they drafted Todd Gurley to join him in the backfield. Gurley last year had 21 TDs despite playing only 14 games. There will be some concerns about his knee going into the season. He should manage well over 15 TDs this year and with Conner gives them the most dangerous backfield in the CFFL. Oh and let's add Tony Pollard from Dallas, who most likely will get significant playing time as the Elliott hold out may continue into the season.
For the third straight year, Russell Wilson will command the Sinistars. He is coming off two straight years throwing for more than 30 TDs. Despite the Seahawks being a running team, he has managed to get plenty of TD production. Guess we should see another 30 plus TDs again.
The WRs are suspect however. Corey "Dog" Davis is probably the top of the group, and maybe he will do better if Tannehill is the QB instead of Mariota. Kelly Golladay could be the break out WR of the year...but then again he could be a stiff. Sterling Shepard plays for the Giants, enough said there. If Hunter Henry can stay healthy maybe he can produce Gates like numbers.
Division Winner: Cabucki Crush
Playoff Teams: Bums
On the bubble: Sinistars
Outside looking in: Killers
OUTLOOK FOR FANTASY BOWL XXXV
Fantasy Bowl XXXV. Thirty five years of setting lineups, hoping for the best, 10 point connections, injuries, upsets and Chisler Luck. Who will win the coveted Fantasy Bowl Trophy?
FANTASY BOWL XXV:
Alex's Animals 38 Cherry's Chislers 27
An all North Fantasy Bowl as the Animals get their second trophy in three years!
And now with a heavy heart the tragic and sad news of the draft. Bums' Owner Burt Carlson, traveling home the next day from the draft was killed in a car accident Sunday afternoon. It came as a complete shock to all. He was in the league since 1986. The Bums piled up 11 division titles, 18 playoff appearances and made it to three Fantasy Bowls. Their .532 winning percentage is 5th highest in the CFFL. He leaves behind a wife, two sons (including Spencer, the GM of the Bums) and a grandson. His laugh at drafts will be sadly missed. A great husband, father, and friend to so many. Truly one of the great CFFL owners in the history of the league.
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| Burt Carlson 1962 - 2019 |
