It's the 31st year for the CFFL and will it be yet another Cherry lead team to win the Fantasy Bowl for the 5 year in a row???
Great White North
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| Rivers in mid season face form already! |
The Chislers are again defending their title. And was it any surprise that Phillip Rivers would be again at QB? He led the team to their 5th Fantasy Bowl Championship last year and will try to do it again. However it won't be easy with the Chislers being bit by the injury bug as they lost their top WR Jordy Nelson for the season with an ACL tear. Lots of questions are in store for the Chislers. Will it pay off to draft rookie running backs (Gordon and Gurley)? Will Malcom Floyd be a key 10 point connection? Can Golden "Taint" Tate get the tickle the taint treatment? Will the Chisler luck finally run out?
Big Three: Rivers, eh..Floyd? Gordon? Ugh
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| Didn't know Brees was a bad ass psycho |
The Crew fell short of repeating last year and were at the mercy of the Bears all year. This year they went with Drew Brees to lead the team and while seems to be on the downward end of his career, still can put up some big numbers. They also took a chance on Doug Martin, who was awful last year, but has looked good in preseason. Back with the Crew is Brandon Marshall but now is playing for the Jets who have QB issues. Outside of that their WR corp is all second tier talent with hopes that Sammy Watkins continues to trend up and Colston gives them a decent 10 point connection.
Big Three: Brees, Marshall, Martin
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| Not sure why Lacy is so happy.... |
The new look Ferrets with newly hired Director of Football Operations, James Wening drafted a good team, took a chance on drafting Brady and it paid off as his suspension for deflate-gate was overturned. Eddie Lacy, former Chisler star from last year, joins the Ferrets and is a top 5 RB that will get 10+ TDs. At wide out they are no slouch either as Calvin "Megatron" Johnson returns and is always a threat to score every week, is joined by another former Chisler, Emmanuel Sanders and Owen Daniels as the Ferrets look to capitalize on the high powered Broncos.
Big Three: Brady, Lacy, Johnson
The Animals keep getting better each year and seem closer and closer to winning that elusive Fantasy Bowl title. Tony Romo will quarterback this team to the playoffs and will probably throw the ball more this year without Murray. Now look at this list of WRs; Antonio Brown, AJ Green, Hopkins, plus a secondary 10 point connection Terrance Williams. Running the ball is Chris Ivory, while playing for the dumpster fire Jets, he has looked strong and with no other competition in the back field for the Jets, will likely get 20+ touches a game and find the endzone 10 times or more.
Big Three: Romo, Brown, Green
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| Romo says F you North we are winning it! |
Outlook: It looks to be a different year for the North but still may have a Cherry on top of the division as the Animals have a potent air attack. Ferrets were looking good mid season before the overturn of the Brady suspension, now they look good all year. Crew and Chislers were victims of traded draft picks and injuries.
Division winner: Fez's Ferrets
Potential Playoff teams: Alex's Animals
On the bubble: Crew
Eastern Bloc
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| Mussolini looking at all his draft picks! |
Juggernauts had the most picks ever in a CFFL draft getting 2 picks a round for the first 5 rounds. What did they do with all those picks? Drafted a QB that only throws about 20 TDs a year and one that breaks easily (Wilson and Bradford). Drafted 2 RBs that were either suspended or injured (Bell and Foster) and didn't draft any of their handcuffs... wait what? With that all being said, all of those mentioned could be big producers at some point. Wilson runs them in, Bell when back is a beast and Foster once he gets back if healthy will score regularly. High hopes on Matthews, Cooks and Keenan Allen is yet to be seen at wide out.
Big Three: Wilson, Bell, Foster
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| Hitler smirking about the false intel he feeds the Juggs |
The Krauts goosed stepped to the top of the East last year and are poised to do it once again. Hard to argue that when you have one of the best QB in the league in Aaron Rodgers. Then at RB you have Jeremy Hill who looks to be the main guy in Cincy and Andre Williams who may be a goal line back in New York. TY Hilton is a threat deep. Mike Wallace is a double digit scorer. John Brown is no slouch either. Could be another Blitzkrieg on the East by the Krauts.
Big Three: Rodgers, Hill, Hilton
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| Lenin sees a FB in his future |
Russia may have a new powerhouse in the Cocktails who scored one of the highest points in CFFL history last year as an expansion team but failed to make the playoffs. Not sure I would count on missing the playoffs again with Andrew Luck and Adrian Peterson leading this team. These two could win games on their own. Peterson should be the freshest and most healthy he has been in his career. They decided to go with a rookie who could be a big star in Amari Cooper who is playing for the up and coming Raiders. Then a trio of TEs that could be a force in Dwayne Allen (a nice 10 point connection), Bennett and Rudolph.
Big Three: Luck, Peterson, Bennett
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Stalin starting to have
issues with Lenin |
Have the Russian Roulette been replaced as the best team from the Mother Land? Well only the season will tell and will be up to a strong running attack with Jamaal Charles "in Charge" and Shady McCoy. Backups here are decent too in Spiller and McFadden. Julio Jones is back and is a top WR and paired with QB Matt Ryan gives them a very potent 10 point connection. With him is a group of guys that are mediocre at best with Witten, Floyd, Ertz and Donnell. An alert pick up this week of James Jones who just signed with the Packers might be a steal.
Big Three: Charles, Ryan, Jones
Outlook: The East will again be a tough division with all teams with playoff potential. Krauts with Rodgers could be the favorite, but hard to count out the Cocktails with the inaugural season they had last year and now with Luck and Peterson on the team! Was all those picks the Juggs had make a difference? I'm going to say it did not
Division Winner: Cocktails
Potential Playoff Teams; Krauts, Roulette
On the bubble: Juggernauts
Sad Sack South
The Killer Bees continue to be a thorn in the side of the South and now will have Manning and if he has anything left in the tank will be a 35-40 TD QB. However that's where it ends I am sorry to say. At RB it may be both Lion RBs starting, Bell (when healthy) and Abdullah "Oblongata" . Julius Thomas was great last year but will be playing for the Jaguars now and is having surgery on his finger and may not be back till week 4. Roddy White is past his prime, and then they drafted two WRs from the other dumpster fire in the NFL; the Redskins (Jackson and Garcon).
Big Three: Manning, Gostkowski, um.... Abdullah? Thomas? Who knows.
The Mayhem will be looking to get back into contention in the South with Stafford back at the helm. Stafford, when he's not partying, can put up some big numbers and should aging this year. At RB, CJ Anderson could be special this year and Joseph Randle, while it will be a running by committee in Dallas, gets the benefit of running behind one of the leagues best O lines. WRs are a mix of middle tiers wide outs. Landry could become a top WR. Edelman, Ebron, Walker, Royal, Hill are all mid WRs and Fitzgerald best days are behind him, but should benefit if Carson Palmer stays healthy.
Big Three: Stafford, Anderson, Landry
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| Oh that party boy Stafford...nice! |
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| Whats the matter with my hair? |
The Dragons, trying to change things up by not drafting directly next to his brother the Titans (instead was directly across form him) have a good chance to win the South with a back field of Lynch and Lamar Miller. Both could start and both could combine for over 20 TDs. They took Beckham in the first round and if he plays like last year will spell good things for the Dragons. Then with the injuries to the Packer WRs, Davante Adams should be at the receiving end of Rodger TD passes. QB could be a weak point for them with Newton and Palmer. Actually Palmer may be the better start if healthy. They do have a couple of lame 10 pt connections in Funchess and Gersham.
Big Three: Lynch, Beckham, Miller
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| Any opportunity we have to put Tannehill's wife in here... |
What's the over under on Titans wins? 2? 3? Got to get better at some point don't you think? Best player on this squad is Demaryius Thomas, which is pretty damn good. They will need him to get more than 3 wins this year. Tannehill was the predicted QB for the Titans, and there are some high expectations for him this year. He may live up to those expectations and throw over 30 TDs. RBs are weak with only one true starter in Ingram and then a bunch of backups and handcuffs. Andre Johnson might do well having Luck as his QB this year and 2 potential 10 point connections with Jordan Cameron "Cameron Jordan" and Greg Jennings gives them a little hope.
Big Three: Thomas, Tannehill, Cameron
Outlook: This Division will come down to the bitter rivals of Mayhem and Dragons. Cannot count out the Bees as long as Manning is still playing well and putting up points. And the Titans, well Titans being Titans... but I do expect a few more wins than in the past and at least they didn't draft same players from last year.
Division Winner: Dragons
Potential Playoff Teams: Mayhem
On the Bubble: Bees
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Samething about Bibi Jones...
Hell I don't even know if Gronk and her are
still together, but who cares... |
Wild Wild West
Bums who seem to win this division every year might be in trouble this year in repeating. Teddy "Two Gloves" Bridgewater will likely be the starter, the starter. He played well at the end of last season and pretty good this preseason. He has more weapons and Peterson is back. Bums RBs are, pretty much just that, a bunch of bums. Alfred Morris, who has played well in the past, but you just can't count on Redskins players this year. The other are Jennings and Bush. If Cobb gets back from his shoulder injury, they will have a nice 1-2 punch with Cobb and Gronkowski. Patterson adds that 10 point connection.
Big Three: Cobb, Gronkowski, Bridgewater
The Crush who snuck into the playoffs last year, hope to do better than just sneak in this year. Eli Manning, who threw for the most TDs in his career last year, is set to have another great year. But you know that mouth breather can collapse at any given moment in the regular season. Frank Gore might have some gas left in the tank and playing for the Colts this year should improve his chances. Alshon Jeffery "I WIN" hopes to get more targets in the endzone now that Marshall is gone from Chicago. If not it will be up to a bunch of TEs. 2 former Wrecking Crew TEs in Graham and Gates will lead the way. Graham should be healthier, but now with Seattle will see less targets and Gates won't play until Week 5
Big Three: Manning, Graham, Jeffery
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| Manning when told was drafted to the Crush |
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| Mafia hoping for another big season from Evans |
The Mafia, who were one game shy of the Fantasy Bowl, will look to get back into the playoffs once again. Roethlisberger had a great year last year and there is no sign that it will be any different this year. They have 4 starting RBs in the back field (Forte, Hyde, Stewart and Sankey). Look for Forte and Hyde to start the season. Mike Evans is a beast and actually might have a QB to throw to him this year. LaFell and Torrey Smith both could be top WRs. For a team they typically is a Florida or Tampa Bay team have 5 49ers on their team (Kapernick, Hyde, Smith, Davis, Dawson), not necessarily good.
Big Three: Roethlisberger, Evans, Forte
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| "What the hell is a Sinistar anway??" |
The Sinistars will rely on two former Cowboy team mates, Dez Bryant and DeMarco Murray. Bryant is a can't miss top tier WR and Murray a top tier RB. There are more question with Murray than Bryant, as the Eagle Offense spreads it around, will reduce the touches Murray has and not playing behind the Cowboy O line anymore. The Sinistars took some chances and hope that they payoff as they grabbed another Murray in Latavius, "Christina" Agholor, Maclin (who looked good in preseason) and Allen Robinson. Oh at the QB position will be Jay Cutler. He was actually not bad last year throwing 28 TDs, but when he plays its wither a dumpster fire or he is lights out... but mostly a dumpster fire.
Big Three: Bryant, Murray, Cutler
Outlook: The West was as advertised, the wild wild west last year and could be more of the same as all teams could fight for playoff spots. My money is on the Mafai to win the West with a strong running attack. The Bums seem to always be in there and while they might not have the strongest team compared to other years, they always seem to put it together. Crush have a chance to squeak in once again and the Sinistars will rely heavily on their two stars.
Division Winner: Mafia
Potential Playoff Teams: Bums, Sinistars and Crush
Season Outlook: It looks like the only chance of another Cherry family picture getting the trophy will be the Animals this year....Chislers might miss the playoffs...but then again they looked like that last year and ran off 8 straight wins!...Could this be the Ferrets year to finally win it all?...Russians gives the Krauts the most trouble since 1944...Dragons could make a run at it if they get good QB play...The west will be wild. This year the field is much more diverse at opening season as I have 6 teams this year that could win it all: Ferrets, Krauts, Cocktails, Roulette, Sinistars and Mafia.
FANTASY BOWL XXXI
Kretz's Krauts 42 Cocktails 23
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Second Battle of Kharkov or Krauts defeating Cocktails
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The Krauts relive the Second Battle of Kharkov (look it up) where they destroyed over 280,000 Red Army troops. This year they just need to destroy 8 Cocktail starters.
