CFHL Week 4

The Space Monkey Mafia continue to lead the Smythe division by 2 points over the Krampus Carols and then 10 points over the Puck.  The Cherry Division is being led by the two California teams of Raisins and Greek Empire who are tied for first.

Week 4 action:

Space Monkey vs. Goon Crew 4-2

The Space Monkey Mafia had little trouble with the Crew winning all skater categories.  Matthew Tkachuk led the Mafia with 3 goals, 4 assists, 3 PPP and 5 hits!  The Goon Crew however lived up to their name breaking the jaw of rookie phenom Connor Bedard.

Goon Crew send Bedard home with a broken jaw

Slapshots vs Checkers 4-2

Slapshots might be finally figuring things out with a 4-2 win this week.  Tage Thompson had 2 goals and 2 assists while Barkov had 5 total helpers!  Too bad the Checkers didn't have any skaters to go with their goalies.  They notched 5 total wins between Georgiev and "What about" Bobrovsky.

Tage Thompson of the Slapshots

Raisins vs White Mambas 3-3

These teams skated to a 3-3 ties with 4 goalies between them getting only 1 win and both posting sub .900 SV%.  Elias Pettersson for the Mambas had 4 goals at least.

Elias had 4 goals for the Mamba

Greek Empire vs. Who Gives a Puck 4-2

Empire got things rolling against the defending Champs with unbelievable goal tending play!  Binnington and Hellebuyck combined for 5 wins and a SV% of .948!  They also managed to pound the boards with 45 hits!

Binnington came up with some big stops for the Empire

Krampus Carol vs. Assassins 4-2

While we are past Krampus season, the Krampus Carols posted their 4th straight winning week and this is with 4 players injured.  Thankfully they had good netminders between Kuemper and "Principal" Skinner, who combined for 4 wins and .920 SV %

Principal Skinner!

Three Stars of the Week:

Number 3 Star:  Sam Reinhart, F, Checkers - 5 goals, 1 assist, 4 PPP, 1 hit

Number 2 Star:  Matthew Tkachuk, F, Space Monkey - 3 goals, 4 assists, 3 PPP, 5 hits

Number 1 Star:  Connor Hellebuyck, G, Greek Empire - 3 wins, .937 SV%

Goon of the Week (who else):  Jeremy Lauzon, D, Checkers - 13 hits

Hellebuyck with his wife Andrea

CFFL Memorial Cup

Week 18 brings us to the Memorial Cup, where every team competes for a free entry for next season and as a division to win the Memorial Cup in memory of owners who have passed away:

• Jennifer Cherry - Jennifer Jewels
• Steve Machcinski - Steve's Stooges
• Burt Carlson - Bacardi's Bums
• Rich Johnston - Russian Roulette

The North finally win the Memorial Cup as they scored a total of 139 points!  The North Remembers. Winter is here.   It was no surprise that the South finished in last with only 60 points down in Kings Landing...

The North and the Animals were Kings in the North

Alex's Animals continued their dominance of the CFFL with the most points by a team with 55 points.  Dak Prescott hit CeeDee Lamb for two 10 point connections this weekend and they combined for 28 points!  He was also smart to bench Kyren Williams, knowing he was not playing, and put in Joe Mixon who had 2 scores.  

Prescott finished with 16 points in the Memorial Cup

Here is the Standings of the Memorial Cup:

1. North - 139 points

    Animals 55

    Chislers 33

    Ferrets 28

    Crew 23

2. East - 113 points

    Sinistars 39

    Cocktails 34

    Krauts 32

    Juggernauts 8

3. West - 83 points

    Whales 37

    Killers 27

    Crush 21

    Legion 18

4. South - 60 points

    Bees 28

    Dragons 18

    Warbirds 14

    Titans 0

Well that concludes the 2023 CFFL season.  Our 39th!  Next year is a big year.  We celebrate our 40th season and we kick it off in Fabulous Las Vegas with the Draft on August 17!!  Plan is to do the draft at the Circa Sports Book and Casino on Freemont Street.  Stay tuned for details this winter!

The Crew and Vegas Vicky

Owner of the Circa Derek Stevens ready to
announce the 1st pick in the draft...

CFHL Week 3

 The Space Monkeys are quickly establishing themselves as one of the top teams in the league with the most points (25) and leading the Smythe division by 2 points over the Krampus.  Buffalo Slapshots quickly establishing themselves as the worst team with only 10 points.  

The Cherry Division seems pretty tight with 4 teams separated by only 4 points, with the Raisins leading the way with 21.

Week 3 Action:

Goon Crew vs. Greek Empire 4-2

Crew dominated in assists, beating the Empire 24-6 in that category.  Brad Marchand led the way with 5 assists.  Crew Goalies were solid in net too with Ulmark and Wedgewood combining for 3 wins and a .922 SV%.  

Marchand had 5 assists for the Crew

Assassins vs. White Mamba 4-2

Assassins won all the skating categories and Mamba all the goalie ones.  Unfortunately for the Mamba there are only 2 goalie categories.  Kucherov had 3 goals and Morgan Riley had 4 assist to go along with 2 PPP and 2 hits.

Kuch with 3 goals for Assassins

Raisins vs. Checkers 4-2

Checkers skaters struggled again only leading in hits with 41.  They did get 4 wins from their goalies "What about" Bobrovsky and "My Brother" Georgiev.  Panarin led the Raisins with 5 goals this week including a hat trick!  DeBrincat had a huge week too getting 2 goals, 4 helpers and 2 PPPs. 

The Cat, Debrincat celebrates one of his goals!

Space Monkey vs. Slapshots 4-2

Slapshot woes continue, especially in net where they couldn't manage one win.  Space Monkey Mafia had no issues between the posts as they tallied 3 wins and a SV% of .929 between their net minders of Gustavsson and Shesterkin.

Gustavsson for the Mafia

Krampus Carols vs. Who Gives a Puck 3-2-1

This was a close one with the Krampus Carols coming away with the win as they wrapped up Krampus Season.  Will they continue to win after the season is over?  Connor McDavid tallied 3 assists and 4 hits while Brady Tkachuk did his part with 10 hits.  Puck got 13 hits from Tom Wilson, 7 from Doughty and 10 more from Trouba!  This was a violent game...

McDavid had 3 assists

This Weeks Three Stars

Number 3 Star:  David Pastrnak, F, Mambas - 2 goals, 4 assists, 3 PPP and 1 hit

Number 2 Star:  Igor Shesterkin, G, Space Monkey - 2 wins, .968 SV%

Number 1 Star:  Artemi Panarin "Bread", F, Raisins - 5 goals, 1 assist, 2 PPP and 1 hit

Goon of the Week:  Jeremy Lauzon, D, Checkers - 16 hits

Panarin's wife Aliza Znarok...

CFFL Fantasy Bowl XXXIX

 Fantasy Bowl XXXIX

Alex's Animals 58  Stamm's Sinistars 32

The Animals are the Fantasy Bowl XXXIX Champions!  While the two teams traded blows to start out, eventually the Animals would pull away.  

Things got started on Saturday Night, where both teams trotted out 2 players each to the field.  Animals opened things up with a 10 point connection as Prescott hit CeeDee Lamb for a 92 yard TD!  Sinistars did counter with a TD run from Montgomery.  Prescott would get another TD pass and the game would be 14-6 after the Satruday Game.

Prescott connects with Lamb for a 92 yard TD!

Sunday the Animals opened up the scoring with a Gus Edwards TD, his 13th of the year, but the Sinistars would counter with a TD run from their QB Josh Allen.  Eventually the Sinistars just couldn't keep up with the Animals fire power, even with 14 points from their kicker Fairbairn. 

Allen scored two TDs on the ground for the Sinistars

The turning point in the game was when the Animals defense (Eagles) would intercept a pass at the 1 yard line and run it back 99 yards for a TD!   Kyren Williams, picked up in week 2 as a free agent, started the avalanche of points from there by running it in from 4, 2, and 28 yards!  Davante Adams would score 2 TDs as well and before you know it they were up 58-32.  

Animals/Eagles D 99 yard pick-6!

This was a battle between two different ownership styles.  The Animals hate trading draft picks, and has been vocal of eliminating this option.  Their belief is to build from the draft and free agency.  The Sinistars however are all about the trading of draft picks and tend to trade its players for draft picks one year, build a team the next and then trade picks for players to make a run.  Hence the 1st round pick given up for Josh Allen. Well I guess you can say both methods work as each made it to the Fantasy Bowl!

In the preseason predictions, both Sinistars and Animals were expected to make the playoffs.  In fact the Animals were predicted to win the Fantasy Bowl!  I think this is the first time that has ever happened.  Typically it is the kiss of death when predicted to win it all.  But the Animals prevailed!

Congratulations Animals on a great season and capturing your second Fantasy Bowl Trophy!

FB MVP Kyren Williams - 18 points

Remember the season is not over.  Submit your lineups for Week 18 for a chance at free entry next year.  The top scoring team gets free entry and the highest scoring division wins the Memorial Cup which honors past owners that have passed on.

League MVP:  Josh Allen, QB, Sinistar - 201 points

All CFFL Team

QB- Josh Allen, Sinistars - 201 points

RB - Christian McCaffrey, Juggs - 126 points

RB - Raheem Mostert, Dragon - 126 points

WR - Mike Evans, Whales - 78 points

WR - Cee Dee Lamb, Animals - 74 points

WR - Tyreek Hill, Killer - 72 points

K - Brandon Aubrey, Ferrets - 149points

Def - Cowboys, Legion - 50 points

McCaffrey earned All Team honors with 126 points

All CFFL 2nd Team

QB - Jalen Hurts, Warbirds - 182 points

RB - Kyren Williams, Animals - 92 points

RB - Gus Edwards, Animals - 80 points

WR - Deebo Samuel, Dragon - 72 points

WR - Jayden Reed, Legion - 62 points

WR - Courtland Sutton, Ferrets - 60 points

K - Justin Tucker, Legion - 143 points

Hurts was 2nd All Team QB

All CFFL Nickname Team 2023

QB - Jared "You got" Goff"ed" - Ferrets

RB - Raheem Mostert "No Start" - Dragons

RB - Isiah "Peak at my Butthole" Pacheco - Chislers

WR - Deebo "Dabo Sweeny" Samuel - Dragon

WR - Jordan Addison "Not Mattison" - Chislers

WR - Puka "NaTuukka" Nacua - Chislers

WR - D.J. "T.C." Moore "Bookkeeping, coming down in his pajamas doing taxes" - Juggs

WR - Gabe "I want to be called Gabe!" Davis - Animals

TE - Isaiah "Not bloody" Likely - Krauts

K - Younghoe "Cream on Sum Yong Guy" Koo - Juggs

CFFL Playoffs Round 2 and FB Preview

 

Merry Christmas everyone!  Things got interesting in the semifinals of the CFFL Playoffs, but the teams that were in the lead held on and the stage is set for Fantasy Bowl XXXIX!

Animals 36  Cocktails 28 - "No way the Raiders defense can score 2 TDs again"  Hmm...I was wrong.  The Cocktails Raiders Defense DID score back to back TDs to pull the Cocktails to within 2 points of the Animals on Christmas Day!  Could it be a Christmas miracle?  Animals decided late to bench Dak Prescott in favor of Brock Purdy.  Dak had 8 and Purdy was terrible.  Cocktails still had A.J. Brown but he would come up empty.  Then the Animals drove the nail in the Cocktail coffin when Gus Edwards scored from 1 yard out.  The Animals now move on to the Fantasy Bowl with a chance to win their second title.  The Cocktails come up short and will have to wait another year for a shot at the championship.  

Gus Edwards slams the door on the Cocktails

Sinistars 48  Chislers 32 - The Sinistars were running on all cylinders.  It started with 16 huge points from CFFL MVP Josh Allen, who the Sinistars acquired in a trade with the Krauts.  He has 189 points on the season and has only scored less than double digits twice this season.  The Sinistars also got 18 points from their Lions RB duo of Gibbs and Montgomery.  The Chislers were really never in the game.  They would get a "Peak at my Butthole" TD late but the game was over.  Sinistars now move on to try to get their second CFFL title as well.  

The man is on a mission!

Fantasy Bowl XXXIX Preview

Stamm's Sinistars at Alex's Animals (-3.5)

The Animals will be playing in their 3rd Fantasy Bowl since they joined the league in 1999.  In their first Fantasy Bowl, they beat the Killers 28-21 in FB XXXIII.  They would return to the Fantasy Bowl 4 years later only to lose to the Krauts 51-22.  The Animals have certainly improved over the years.  In the early years the pressure of the draft rattled the then young owner Alex, but now a seasoned vet, he has assembled a championship team.

The Sinistars will be going for their second title since they joined the league in 2005.  They defeated the Cocktails in Fantasy Bowl XXXV 34-18 in their only appearance.   They have had varying success in their history.  They came into the league with a 11-3 division title first year.  Then went 4-10, followed by another division title year.  Then went 7-7 and 5-9.  But now they are back after 2022 season of 5-9.  An up and down franchise for sure. 

Here is how they stack up:

QB:  Josh Allen vs. Prescott/Purdy - I'm thinking the Animals will go with Prescott this time, considering the Cowboys will be home.  But hard to argue that Allen is the best player in the CFFL.

Advantage:  Sinistars

RB:  Both teams are loaded.  Sinistars have the Lions duo, but also Ekeler, Breece Hall and Najee Harris.  It will be Lineup roulette for the Sinistars.  The Animals have Gus Edwards and Kyren Williams, both FA pick ups early in the season.  But on the Bench they have Mixon.

Advantage:  Even (depends on who choses wisely)

WR: Animals have been strong all year at wide out.  Davante Adams, CeeDee Lamb, and "I want to be be called" Gabe Davis.  Sinistars will lean on Tee Higgins and DeVonta Smith again.

Advantage: Animals

K: Lucas Havrisik for the Animals has been putting up some points.  Sinistars Fairbairn has struggled with the absence of Stroud.

Advantage: Animals

D/ST:  Sinistars' Colts vs. Animals' Eagles.  Got to say the Eagles might have more of an advantage as they match up against the Cards.

Advantage: Animals

Outlook:  This, on paper, looks to be a close one.  Hard to go against Josh Allen the way he has been playing.  The Animals however can get scoring from every position.  Will the Sinistars make the right move at RB?  Will they leave the Lion duo in or make a change?  

Prediction: Take Sinistars plus the points in a close one.  I think they get the outright upset and Josh Allen goes for double digits in the win.