CFHL Week 5

 The action on the ice during Week 5 in the CFHL...a 5-2 kind of week!

Assassins vs. Goon Crew 5-2

The Assassins keep rolling on.  They now have a 6 point lead in total standings and an 11 point lead in the Cherry Division!  After the Goon Crew grabbed an early lead, the Assassins roared back over the weekend to defeat the Goon Crew 5-2.  They dominated all offensive and goalie categories.  Brock Nelson and Jason Robertson both had 3 goals for the Assassins.

Slapshots vs. Raisins 5-2

Funny what happens when you finally figure out how to change your line up.  Slapshots apparently did and had little trouble defeating the Raisins out scoring them 14-7 in goals and out hitting them 50-37.  Leading the way for the Slapshots was Cole Caufield's 5 goal performance!  The Raisins did get a total of 4 goalie wins, 2 each from Oettinger and Vejmelka.

Checkers vs. Empire 5-2

Checkers poor performance in goals and assist made no difference as they would take the rest of the categories easily including their customary plus 50 hit week (53).  Morgan Geekie had a top star performance for the Checkers with 3 goals 2 assists, 5 PPP, 6 hits and 2 blocks!  What can't this guy do?  Old man Stamkos even got in the act with 3 PPP and 5 hits!

Who Gives a Puck vs. Krampus Carols 5-2

The defending champs bounced back nicely after last week's embarrassing 6-0-1 loss to the Empire.  It was a close one in goals as the Puck edged them by 1, 13-12.  Kaprizov had an amazing week for the Puck scoring 3 goals with 6 assists, 5 PPP and 3 hits.  

Space Monkey vs. White Mambas 5-2

And in our final 5-2 game of the week the Space Monkey beat the Mamba behind 3 goals from Malkin and the usual 11 hits from Brady Tkachuk.  Dougie Hamilton, from the Space Monkey blue line, had 4 assists, 3 PPP and 3 hits plus 5 blocks in the victory.

Three Stars of the Week

Number One Star:  Kirill Kaprizov, F, Puck - 3goals, 6 assists, 5 PPP, 3 hits, 1 block

Number Two Star:  Morgan Geekie, C, Checkers - 3 goals 2 assists, 5 PPP, 6 hits, 2 blocs

Number Three Star:  Nikita Kucherov, F, Krampus - 1 goal 6 assists, 1PPP and 1 hit (3 x Star)

Net Minder of the Week:  John Gibson, G, Goon Crew - 2 wins, .966 SV% (2x)

Goon of the Week:  Dylan Cozens, F, Puck - 13 hits

Blockhead of the Week:  MacKenzie Weegar, D, Goon Crew - 14 blocks

CFHL Week 4

 CFHL Week 4 action and awards...

Goon Crew vs. Slapshots 4-3

Despite the Slapshots offensive performance, winning goals, assists and PPP the Crew were able to get the win by taking the remaining 4 categories (Hits, blocks, goalie wins and SV%).  John Gibson continues to be on fire getting 3 wins for the week.

Checkers vs. White Mambas 4-3

Checkers edged the Mambas 4-3 beating them by just one block 36-35!  Alex DeBrincat had a solid week 3-3-2-1-4  while Darnell Nurse got 6 hits and 9 blocks from the blue line for the Checkers.  

Assassin vs. Krampus Carols 4-2-1

The Assassins continue to dominate the league and now lead the entire league by 5 points.  Krampus managed to tie goals and win both goalie categories with Vasilevskiy leading the way with 2 wins and .941 SV%.  Nick Suzuki for Assassins had 5 assists and 5 PPPs!

Space Monkey Mafia vs. California Raisins 4-2-1

Space Monkeys had an offensive explosion getting not only 11 goals and 11 PPP but 32 assists!! Lane Hutson had 6 helpers from the blue line along with 10 blocks.  Vejmelka was able to get 3 wins and a SV% of .926 with the Raisins.

Greek Empire vs. Who Gives a Puck 6-0-1

The Empire were able to shut out the puck almost completely win every category, tying only in blocks.  The defending champs worst loss of the season.  Connor McDavid had 7 assists while the Empire had 4 players with 2 goals each.  

Three Stars of the Week:

Number 1 Star of the Week:  Tage Thompson, C, Slapshots - 3 goals, 6 assists, 5 PPP, 3 blocks

Number 2 Star of the Week:  Roman Josi, D, Mambas - 2 goals, 5 assists, 2 PPP, 1 hit, 5 blocks

Number 3 Star of the Week:  Rasmus Dahlin, D, Empire - 2 goals, 3 assists, 2 PPP, 4 hits, 5 blocks

Net Minder of the Week:  Karel Vejmelka, Raisins - 3 wins, .926 SV%

Goon of the Week:  Will Cuylle, F - 15 hits

Block head of the Week:  Thomas Harley, D, Mambas - 14 blocks

CFHL Week 3

 CFHL Week 3 action..

California Raisins vs. Goon Crew 3-2-2

This was a dog fight all week long and the Raisins were able to finally take the lead on the final day beating the Goon Crew in blocks 40-35.  Both teams tied with 19 assist with Goon Crew forward Pastrnak getting 7, 6 in one game! Celebrini for the Raisins led the way with a 2-5-4-2-4 week and Cuylle had 15 hits!  

Cuylle was dealing out the hits

Krampus Carols vs. Slapshots 4-3

If the Slapshots could get anything out of their goalies of Binnington and Shesterkin, they would have won this game.  However Shesterkin left early with an injury and Binnington gave up 10 goals in two games.  Krampus win despite being out hit 47-9! Panarin led the Krampus with 5 assists as they racked up 25 total helpers for the week! 

Panarin had 5 assists for Krampus!

Space Monkey vs. Checkers 4-3

Checkers almost pulled off this one but fell just one hit and one block short for the week!  Wait what?  The Checkers got out hit??  How is that possible?  Sherwood did get 12 hits for the Checkers, but Brady Tkachuk had 16 plus 2 goals for the Space Monkey.

Assassins vs. Greek Empire 5-2

Assassins get the big win taking both goalie categories and edging them by 1 in PPP.  Mark Stone led the Assassins with a huge week getting 3 goals, 5 assist, 4 PPP!  Plus he had 2 hits and 5 blocks!  Connor McDavid for the Empire had 5 goals in the loss.

Who Gives a Puck vs. White Mambas 5-1-1

The defending champions notch another winning week, aiming for a repeat.  They tied in PPP and Puck was able to beat the Mamba by just one hit.  But the edge in goals was 10-4 and blocks 31-17.  Net minder Joseph Woll for the Puck had a great week getting 2 wins and an impressive .984 SV%

Three Stars of the Week

Number One Star: Mark Stone, F, Assassins - 3 goals, 5 assists, 4 PPP, 2 hits, 5 blocks

Number Two Star:  David Pastrnak, F, Goon Crew - 2 goals, 7 assists, 1 PPP, 3 hits, 2 blocks

Number Three Star:  Macklin Celebrini, C, Raisins - 2 goals, 5 assists, 4 PPP, 2 hits, 4 blocks

Net Minder of the Week:  John Gibson, Goon Crew - 3 wins .955 SV%

Goon of the Week:  Brady Tkachuk, F, Space Monkey 16 hits

Blockhead of the Week:  Darnell Nurse, D, Checkers 14 blocks

Awards and Memorial Cup 2025

 The final edition to the CFFL 2025 Season.  Winter is truly here as the Ferrets win their first ever Fantasy Bowl and the North capture their 3rd straight Memorial Cup!

The Memorial Cup, honoring franchise owners that have passed on, is a free for all with the most points earned by a division winning the Cup.  Plus the most points by a team earns a free entry next year.  

 Honoring:

Jennifer Cherry - Jennifer's Jewels

Steve Machcinski - Steve's Stooges

Burt Carlson - Bacardi's Bums

Rich Johnston - Russian Roulette

Memorial Cup Results: Whales almost pull it out with two Zay Flowers TDs but Animals held on with 12 points from Lamar. 

1. North - 133 points

   Animals - 44

    Wrecking Crew - 35

Lamar wins it for the Animals and the North

    Ferrets - 29

    Chislers - 25

2. East - 90 points

    Sinistars - 31

    Krauts - 26

    Juggernauts - 19

    Cocktails - 14

3. West - 71 points

    Whales - 42

    Killers - 12

    Legion - 11

    Lunatics - 6

4. South - 52 points

    Dragons - 21

    Warbirds - 20

    Dominators - 8

    Bees - 3

CFFL Awards

2025 CFFL MVP - Josh Allen, QB, Chislers - 185 points 

(runner up was Matt Stafford with 184 points!)

Josh Allen becomes the first ever back to back  to BACK MVP in the CFFL!  This is his Fourth MVP and now ties Aaron Rodgers' 4 MVPs. Guess he will be the Number One pick next year.

  Players with 2: Manning, Favre, Mahomes, Brady, and Brees.

All CFFL Team

QB - Josh Allen, Chislers - 185

RB  - Jonathan Taylors, Sinistars - 122

RB - Jahmyr Gibbs, Ferrets - 108

WR - Davante Adams, Sinistars - 84

WR - Tee Higgins, Dragons- 68

TE - Trey McBride, Ferrets - 66

K - Jason Myers, Chislers - 171

DEF - Seahawks, Dominators- 48

Taylor had 5 weeks of 18 or more points!

All CFFL Nickname Team

QB - Jared "You got Goffed" Goff, Killers

RB - Kyle Monangai "With the fungi", Cocktails

RB - Zach Charbonnet "I like Charbonnet", Crew

TE- Jake "Turd" Ferguson, Whales

WR - Greg Dortch "On Golf/Football" Killers

WR - Tetairoa "Territorial"  McMillian "and Wife", Krauts

K - Harrison "Thicker Kicker" Mevis "Bevis", Krauts

Shut up Mevis

That's not my name, Name is Turd Ferguson

See you all in August!

CFHL Week 2

 

Six, Seven, Six, Seven is what the kids say today.  What it means I have no idea, but this week in the CFHL its Four, Three, Four, Three as every game ended 4-3.

Goon Crew vs. Space Monkey 4-3

This game was back and forth and Auston Matthews huge 5 goal performance helped the Space Monkey to keep it close and with all their D players playing Sunday almost caught the Goon Crew in blocks.  Mika Zibanejad had a hat trick during the Winter Classic for the Crew.

White Mambas vs. Assassins 4-3

The Mambas dominated the offensive stats including getting 20 goals!  They had 4 skaters with 4 goals each and Nathan MacKinnon had a monster week going 4-6-3-3-2!  

Slapshots vs. Greek Empire 4-3

Slapshots get back on the winning track behind Ovechkin's 15 hits!  Will that earn him Goon of the Week?  The Greek Empire did have a strong showing in net with Juuse "No Goals" Saros and Dustin Wolf combining for 4 wins.

Krampus vs. California Raisins 4-3

In traditional Krampus fashion they are starting out on the right side of the win column.  They left the game battered and bruised from 50 hits by the Raisins, including 11 from Tom Wilson before his injury.  Montembeault and Vasilevskiy (these are not easy names to type by the way) combined for 4 wins vs. Raisins 0 goalie wins.

Who Gives a Puck vs. Checkers 4-3

Match up between the most winningest franchises in CFHL history the Puck came away with the win.  Again with no help from their net minders posting another goose egg in wins.  Of course the checkers led the way with 57 hits including an absurd about from Kiefer "Sutherland" Sherwood (29!).  Tyler Bertuzzi got a hat trick on Sunday to seal the win in Goals for the Puck.

 Three Stars of the Week:

Number One Star:  Nikita Kucherov, F, Krampus - 3 goals, 7 assists, 5 PPP, 1 hit and 1 block

Number Two Star:  Nathan MacKinnon, C, Mambas - 4 goals, 6 assists, 3 PPP, 3 hit and 3 blocks

Number Three Star:   Auston Matthews, C, Space Money - 5 goals, 1 assist, 1 PPP, 3 blocks

Goon of the Week:  Kiefer "Sutherland" Sherwood "Forest" - 29 hits

Block Head of the Week:  Colton Parayko, D, Goon Crew - 13 blocks

Net Minder of the Week:  Jeremy Swayman "Fighter of the Night Man", G, Checkers - 2 wins, .944 SV%